Jesus Burning Down my House

Bought a Jesus candle at Kroger next to the bags of Goya beans in a section labeled “Hispanic/Latino.” The Jesus candle is red and long and doesn’t have a smell. On the front, the picture of Jesus depicts a Caucasian man with brown medium length hair and a beard. His chest is sort of open and his heart is showing, except it’s not shaped like a real heart, it’s shaped more like candy. There are thorns around it as the Lord wore on the cross and all of it is glowing. On the back is a prayer first in Spanish, then in English, about the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

First time I lit it, it made the shelf above it really hot and warped a hole into the finish. It’s a good thing I walked by Jesus and knew that Jesus shouldn’t smell like that. Jesus the candle almost burned down my house coupled with my stupidity.

Now Jesus candle burns on my coffee table. It kind of makes my nose itch. I don’t know what they did to it when they made it in Mexico but none of my other candles make my nose tingle like that. This one’s different, this Jesus. I’m just glad that Jesus spared my house. Amen.

Photo credited to Sculpted Portrait.

(c) Ada Vaskys


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